Mind, Body Boost: Letting Go
Image Kent McDonald - Enchanted
It’s always tough to do, but approached in the right way, letting go can be a great opportunity for reassessment and positive change.
It’s going to be tough
Letting go can be difficult. Relinquishing a relationship, a long-held dream or even a job can be the hardest thing. Pride, pain and sometimes a refusal to give in all play their part. There is always the last word we wish we had said, that last strategy we could have tried, or that absolutely fool-proof deal breaker we could have applied. As we close our eyes to go to sleep at night, the scenarios go round and round in our head. That killer parting remark that would have conveyed all the pain and the frustration, the disappointment and the anger that we felt and that great put-down too. We would have felt so much better if we could have thought of and delivered that put-down at the time, wouldn’t we? Or would we?
It’s an overused word but it is a word that sums up what we are aiming for when there is something we need to let go of. In the case of death, it is easier to gain closure – after all, there is no coming back from that is there? But for a relationship that we had high hopes for, it can be more difficult.
The best way to let go is to look forward. As someone once said: the only thing you get from looking over your shoulder for too long is a stiff neck! Even if you only achieve one baby step each day, you will be moving in the right direction.
Delete, delete, delete!
It can be very painful to look back on photos, mementos or other things that remind us of a previous relationship. You need to be ruthless and get rid of them. It will be hard and it may be something that you need to work yourself up to, but deleting phone numbers must be done. If there is no way to get in touch, you will think about doing it less.
The old epithet ‘everything happens for a reason’ might sound a little trite but it is a good motto to have. Imagine that there is something much better for you around the corner and keep that in your mind. Indulge yourself and allow yourself some little treats that you know will make you feel better. Talk to friends or family, join a support group if you want to. Hearing from other people is a great way of putting things into perspective.
Having a good clear out
As well as getting rid of the physical reminders, cleansing your inner space and aura and even giving your body a detox will help to remove negative energy and emotions that can block your way forward. Allowing new energy to come in and encouraging positive feelings will help by turning thoughts into reality. You could meditate like monks and holy men do to cleanse their thoughts. You could do more exercise, join a self-help group – their positive effects will soon reap rewards.
The law of attraction
This is the name given to the principle that ‘like attracts like.’ New Thought philosophy illustrates the idea that if we focus either on positive or negative thoughts, we will attract mirrored positive or negative experiences into our lives. We need to exude positivity and joy if that is what we want to attract. The old saying ‘misery loves company’ is very true. Make your new motto ‘I am happy and I know it!’
Let it go, let it go…
Finally, if you are still struggling, try to remember the things you are missing that were not quite perfect or even downright annoying. As time passes, you should be able to occasionally glance back and maybe smile about it all. You will be able to remember things without analysing them; shrug your shoulders and know that what you have now, and what you are doing now, is so much better. And then you will know that you have finally let go.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
- Lao Tzu
Share your ‘letting go’ stories in the comments box below.
You can read this story and more in our Winter 2015 survival issue here